Note: persons attempting to find a motive in this posting will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a meme in it will be shot.
Pisces: Your detractors are misguided; there is not an upper limit to the number of slides you can have in a one-hour PowerPoint presentation.
Thanks to you, though, there soon will be.
Aries: Good news: the CEO said the LMS you recommended was “a hit.” Bad news: just before that, she said, “We’re really taking…”
Taurus: Friends are concerned about your failing memory: your blogroll links to your own blog.
Gemini: You’re jazzed about microblogging, but remember: the number of U.S. households with birds as pets is twice the number of people using Twitter. It’s true: parakeet, the original tweet.
Cancer: Networking pays off this month as you’re invited to address the National Association of Professional Keynote Givers.
PKG09 will be in Manhattan, though budget cuts have shifted the venue to the Grand Central Terminal concourse.
Leo: Don’t let the opinions of others deter you from creating a new image. Keep in mind, however, that a shaved head and a goatee are not mandatory for speakers at TED. Especially for women.
Virgo: You’re always open to learning new things. This week, you’ll learn that “smile sheet” does not mean that you made people smile.
Libra: People with your sign like to get things done. People with your boss’s sign prefer you do the things that have been assigned to you. Meanwhile, the Scorpio two cubicles down has just updated his Facebook page with “updating my Facebook page.”
Scorpio: No, the Libra two cubicles up the hall does not have more followers than you. She does, however, suspect that there’s no battery in your iPhone, and has noticed that the icons you painted on it never move.
Sagittarius: Like most Archers, you desire independence and new experiences. For the near future, however, you’ll struggle with incorporating YouTube clips into the three-day workshop on Safety Compliance for Senior Auditors. (Could Ning help?)
Capricorn: Coworkers appreciate your efforts to share and spread knowledge through social tools. Try to restrain your eagerness for guidelines, however. Several colleagues refer to you as the Wiki Witch of the West.
Aquarius: You’ve created many opportunities for using your skills through your extensive use of LinkedIn. Last week’s messages to five anonymous contacts have paid off. One of them will call you within the hour. He’s your boss’s boss.
Redlining photo by NathanFromDeVryEET.
Grand Central Terminal clock photo by Matt Garland.
“iFone” photo by Eric Byers.
Opening paragraph ever so slightly inspired by S. L. Clemens.